God's Vessel

On my flight from Miami to Dallas I sat by a guy who has spent his life in the military. He was headed home from Trinidad. After seeing my passport he asked where I had been. I told him that my friends and I had been on a mission trip in Haiti and briefly described our work. He and the guy next to him felt convicted to tell me that they hadn't been to church in a long time. I asked him a little about why he had fallen away from church. He explained it to me, and then we were quiet for awhile and watched the video of safety instructions. He chuckled a bit and said, "That's funny." I asked him if he thought the video was funny, because I was not amused. He told me that he had chinese food at the airport and his fortune said, "God wants you." He thought it was ironic that he ends up sitting next to a missionary on the plane. This opened a huge door for some really great conversation. I had been praying for God to use me on the way home and He did. It feels great to be a vessel for God to use.

God is love

You've heard the saying, "home is where the heart is," right? What if your heart is scattered all over? I have left pieces in Mexico, Africa, New Orleans, the Rosebud Reservation, the streets of LA, and most recently Haiti. My heart breaks easily and I leave a good chunk of it where it breaks. It's nearly impossible to explain what I experienced in Haiti without taking you there, but I'll try.

This last trip to Haiti was completely different from last year where we spent almost all of our time in the walls of the orphanage tending to the 100 kids. This time we were in Ti Rivier working with Mission Haiti. We stayed at the orphanage, but were not contained inside the walls. We would hike between 1-3 hours up to schools in the mountains to tell the story of Noah's Ark, do crafts, hand out school supplies (a drawstring backpack, ruler, notebook and two pencils), and fit the kids with shoes and at one school clothing too. At the first school we also fed the kids a protein and vitamin rich rice lunch from Feed My Starving Children. I was constantly amazed at the patience of the children. There was a heaping plate of food in front of half the children, who most likely hadn't eaten since the day before at the earliest, and not a single one touched their food until everyone had been served and they prayed. I know adults who eat three meals a day who aren't that patient. Myself included.

While helping kids find new shoes I couldn't help but remember what a fun experience it was for me as a kid to go with my family to buy a new pair of shoes. Here, it was a game of simply finding a shoe that fits. If the colors match the gender of the kid that's a bonus. I hated that. I wanted them to have choices, but we didn't have the time to sort through all the shoes nor did we have a wide enough variety of shoes for anyone to be picky. I'll never forget the smiles on their faces after fitting them with a new pair. Pure joy. It melted my heart.

At the mountain school we handed out clothing as well. The school was packed. There were over 200 kids in a room a little smaller than an American classroom. At least the ones I've been in. We had to clear the kids out of the building to set up stations for clothing, shoes and school supplies. I can guarantee that not many kids I know would be so excited to receive a used ruler. My friend, Molly and I were in charge of the clothing station. We didn't have a wide variety of sizes. The majority of the clothing was for baby girls. The majority of the need was for boys and girls 2nd grade and up. We fit the kids that we could with the clothing we had, but we were forced to turn a lot of kids away because we didn't have anything that would fit them. The kids were wearing their best outfits that day. I fought back the tears as we had to tell kids with torn dresses and shirts that we didn't have anything for them. Thinking about it still makes me cry. Especially knowing that I have so many clothes that I don't have room for them all and these kids have one torn outfit that doesn't really fit them. The youth kids and the kids at the orphanage asked a very relevant question for them, "If God provides for us then why are there people in the mountains who are starving and don't have homes or clothing?" God's reply to me was, "Why do you have so much? I put you here to help and you're greedy." Touche God. Touche. I think we all to often blame God for the wrongs in this world when we should be looking in the mirror. These people don't have to starve or be naked. I can give them what I have. After all, God blessed me with it.

The professors at the school don't have a constant salary like we think of in the states. Pam would tell them, "When God blesses me, I will bless you." They accepted that. I've been hoarding God's blessings to serve myself. That's a harsh reality. Help me to bless others when You bless me.

We spent our afternoons and evenings with the kids at the orphanage and with the youth. They are all so precious. I really enjoyed getting to know them. I'm excited to see what this generation does for the people of Haiti. They are on fire for the Lord and have so much respect for what Pam teaches them during youth group and the bible stories she tells the kids at night. A lot of the youth kids were curious about how many countries we had been too. I felt guilty telling them because they have never traveled outside of Haiti and most likely never will. They're curious and love to learn. One of the youth kids asked me about the big houses in America. He wanted to know if there were people living in every room. If those home were in Haiti they would house a small village. In the states they most likely are a shelter for about two to five people with plenty of room to spare. Does that make you feel wasteful? ...me too.

Voodoo and witchcraft are very present in Haiti. While we were there Pam told us about a curse that was put on a lady in the mountains. She woke up the next morning paralyzed. The doctors said there was no medical reason for this. I know that God is BIG. He can move mountains. I can't help but think about what the world would be like if we, as Christians, had the kind of faith in God to perform miracles as some people have faith in witchcraft to curse others. God, give me the faith of a mustard seed to believe in Your power. I kept thinking that God is love and couldn't help but wonder what Haiti would be like if God was the center. About 200 years ago the president signed the land over to Satan and in 2004 the new president didn't get a chance to renew that contract. There have already been some really big changes with growth of vegetation and the Holy Spirit moving in incredible ways. It's exciting to see!

Our friend Patchouko would lead the kids in a couple of praise songs at the schools. There is no sweeter sound to me than listening to these kids sing with their whole heart. The kids at the orphanage would sing praise songs to us too. I'm certain that makes God smile. I wake up to the memory of them singing and the smiles on their faces. It brings me joy.

Being back to the daily grind is harsh. It's harder being back than it was dealing with the pain and brokenness we were exposed to. I can't help but feel that God was able to use me more in Haiti than behind a desk in the states. My passion and hearts desire has always been to help others. I love the freedom that life in Haiti brings. I'm not distracted by my cell phone, email or facebook. I'm not tempted to buy...stuff. I want to live a simple life, but am so easily distracted and sucked into the idea that I need a new outfit, gadget, etc. I loved walking everywhere...except for the 5 hour drive to the orphanage from Port au Prince. It's wasn't a luxury ride sitting on a board, leaning against wire and being caged into the back of a pick-up. Pretty sure my sit bones ripped through my skin and my back is still bruised, but I would do it all over again tomorrow, forever.

And what does the Lord require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God.

- Micah 6:8

We have over 2,000 pics from our trip that we need to sort through. I'll post a few and some video once I it.

Lord, let your glory fall

This song is resounding in my heart and head today. Lord, you are good and your love endures!

Haiti or Bust

"Referring to the church as a building is like referring to people as two-by-fours." - Don Everts, Jesus with Dirty Feet

"We are not called to be successful but to be faithful." - Mother Teresa

"People always want to define you by what you do. I started saying, 'I'm not too concerned with what I am going to do. I am more interested in who I am becoming. I want to be a lover of God and people.'" - Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution

These are just a few quotes that are surfacing in my head as I prepare my heart for the brokenness it will surely endure this next week. In less that 36 hours I set out to Haiti with six other friends. I had the privilege of going to work at the orphanage, Children of the Promise in Haiti last June. This time we're going to be working in a different orphanage, on the opposite side of Haiti I was at last year, and traveling through the rural mountain communities teaching VBS and playing games.

We're there for a week and I know the time will fly by. I already am hesitant to return. If I could stay long term I definitely would. I'll update you on stories and let you know how God is moving in Haiti when we return. Please be praying for my friends and the people we will meet during this trip. Pray for obedience on our part, and for us to have the boldness and courage of Esther. Pray for relationships to be formed and for friendships to develop. Pray.

Friday Funnies

Here are a few of my favorite Michael Scott lines from The Office.

Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make.

My proudest moment here wasn't when I increased profits by 17%, or cut expenditure without losing a single member of staff. No no no. It was a young Guatamalan guy, first job in the country, barely spoke a word of English, but he came to me and said "Mr. Scott, will you be the godfather to my child?" Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.

The most sacred thing I do is care. And provide for my workers, my family. I give them money. I give them food. Not directly, but through the money. I heal them. Today I am in charge of picking a great new healthcare plan. Right, that’s what this is all about. Does that make me their doctor? Um… yes. In a way. Yeah, like a specialist.

You may look around and see two groups here; white collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way, and you know why not? Because I am collar-blind.

'Hug it out, bitch.' That is what men say to each other after a fight. They hug it out, in doing so they just let it go, and walk away, and they're done. Not a good idea to say that to a woman, however, I've found. Doesn't translate.

Society teaches us that, having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that's baloney, because grief isn't wrong. There's such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown.